How it started
This is the story of how I went from burnt-out corporate manager to ADHD VA to specialist ADHD coach and why I built The Certainty Lab for late-diagnosed adults like me
I didn’t set out to become an ADHD coach.
I spent over 20 years in corporate roles. Day to day, I did a good job. My work was solid. But I never felt confident enough to push for promotion. Add a family and a small zoo of animals, and it’s no wonder I felt like I was running just to stay in place.
I was a manager, leading teams of up to 15 people but I hated asking people to do things. It felt terrifying in a way I couldn’t explain. And I constantly hid behind mini-projects that caught my attention and felt safer, even when bigger priorities were waiting.
Looking back, I can see these were early signs of a brain wired for interest, not importance… And a deep, unacknowledged fear of rejection.
But at the time? I just thought I wasn’t good enough and kept waiting to be found out and exposed as somebody playing at being a grown up.
The VA Years
When my children went to university, I finally took a breath. I looked around at where my decisions to feel safe had landed me. From managing a team of 15 or so admin staff for a blue- chip company when I left University, I was now in an entry level admin role working from my bedroom working 40 hours a week for a pittance of a wage.
Frustration at my ‘safe’ choices, prioritising the kids and the zoo, ate away at me. I wanted to be able to look back at my life with pride, not this regret.
So, I took my years of admin experience and became a Virtual Assistant. I quit my job, did some training and launched my own business.
It was scary but exciting. I was self-employed and free!
Almost immediately, I noticed something. Most of my VA clients didn’t just need help with their inboxes. They had ADHD. This meant a new way of working to me. I realised that neurotypical systems like colour coding a calendar were just not going to be the answer.
So I trained to become an ADHD VA.
I was good at it. But I wasn’t happy. I loved the human connection, but the admin was draining me. Once we’d got off the phone or Teams meeting, I was left with doing the thing. But I found it hard to knuckle down to do the thing when I was more interested in working out why they couldn’t do the thing themselves! They were usually super intelligent, highly knowledgeable and usually much better than me at doing the thing than me. They just couldn’t start the thing.
I became fascinated by how we implement change in our lives to make things better.
The Coaching Pivot
I trained as a life coach with Animas.
Then the same thing happened again. Almost every coaching client who came to me had ADHD. And general coaching techniques, the ones that work for neurotypical brains just didn’t land.
I couldn’t coach them the way I’d been taught. I kept losing the thread of conversations, my clients left with nothing and I was devastated. The age-old feelings of failure began to creep in.
I consulted experienced coaches, some just didn’t get it and said it was my fault for being too invested in getting an outcome for my client (really?). Luckily one amazing coach supervisor put me straight. She said that I was trying to apply standard practices to people with ADHD. And it just doesn’t work that way.
Why I Became an ADHD Coach (Not Just an ADHD VA)
So I invested in specialist training with Gold Mind Academy where I learned how the ADHD brain actually works; what it needs and what it doesn’t.
And somewhere in that training, my cohort quietly decided that I probably have ADHD myself.
(“How had you not noticed sooner?” they asked.)
Now I know and it’s that knowing that is the first step. So, I can make peace with my crippling inability to ask my team to do unpleasant things or to ask my manager for help. I can look back and know that it was my adhd brain stuck in a people pleasing loop that felt unsafe to leave. Avoiding the important thing to tidy out a stationary cupboard was my brain being wired to chase interest.
From that noticing I can rebuild. I can notice when these patterns repeat today and then, I can make a conscious decision to act differently.
Now I help late-diagnosed adults stop fighting themselves.
I call my approach The Certainty Lab.
It’s where we help to build out a solid foundation of awareness and knowing about your adhd so you can finally have certainty. There’s no shame, no judgement and no “just use a planner.” Just tiny, weird, open-minded experiments that build real self-trust, one small win at a time.
Here’s a visual that illustrates the journey from building a solid foundation to being unapologetically you that I use with my clients:
The Certainty Lab visual showing the journey from wobbly foundation to unapologetically you – used by ADHD coach Carol Fry
What my clients say
Carol held my thinking with such respect and kindness. She didn’t say ‘that’s a lot.’ She made me feel seen AND respected – time-bound AND spacious
She helped me move from ‘trying harder’ to ‘trying differently.’ I finally have a clear explanation for my lifelong reactions and a massive sense of relief
Ready to stop Fighting Your Brain?
If you are a late-diagnosed adult who is exhausted from trying to fit into neurotypical rules, you are not broken.
You just haven’t found your certainty yet.
Book a discovery call. No pressure. Just a chat to see if we are a good fit.